21st CENTURY’S VALENTINE’S DAY; WHAT’S MISSING? By Knight Fredel

EPISODE 84

Valentine, a period set aside for lovers and couples, mostly the young and middle-aged lovers come together to celebrate their love and exchange gifts with one another. Many young women today cannot wait for the surprises that awaits them on the next valentine’s day, some even expect their lover to engage them on that day, however, there are those who abuse the Val’s day for selfish and greedy reasons.

Now, let us come down to our home country in order to get something straight; do Nigerians really understand the symbolism of the Valentine’s Day or, has the February 14 lover’s day become something else entirely? People have really forgotten the actual purpose of the day’s celebration, and the new generation, they don’t even know what and why February 14 of every year was set aside as lovers’ day, they are also unaware of the proceedings of such day.

Once Val’s day begin to approach, the ladies of nowadays would only think of how to bill their boyfriends, or eventually receive the most expensive gift from him, and most of the guys are confused, some only want to drink, club and have sex.

Truth be told, Valentine’s Day was, and is a religious day set aside as a day to remember the sacrifices of a man called St. Valentine, who was killed on that day, he died for love, for what he believed in, he understood that men should never be restricted from love, and he was killed for it.

Tradition maintains that Saint Valentine performed weddings for Christian soldiers who were forbidden to marry by the Roman emperor; He also was said to have restored sight to the jailers daughter, and much later he wrote the jailer’s daughter a letter which he signed “Your Valentine” as a farewell before his execution. The expression “From your Valentine” was later adopted by modern Valentine letters. Yes, it was that signature we now use today at the end of every Valentine cards exchanged by lovers or couples worldwide. This legend has been published by both American Greetings and The History Channel.

Before I go any further, let us look at the actual story behind the Valentine’s Day celebration: According to Wikipedia, Valentine’s Day, also called Saint Valentine’s Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine, is celebrated annually on February 14. It originated as a Christian feast day honoring a martyr named Valentine, and through later folk traditions it has also become a significant cultural, religious and commercial celebration of romance and love in many regions of the world.

The 8th-century Gelasian Sacramentary recorded the celebration of the Feast of Saint Valentine on February 14. The day became associated with romantic love in the 14th and 15th centuries, when notions of courtly love flourished, apparently by association with the “lovebirds” of early spring. In 18th-century England, it grew into an occasion for couples to express their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as “valentines”). Valentine’s Day symbols that are used today include the heart-shaped outline, doves, and the figure of the winged Cupid.

In the 19th century, handmade cards gave way to mass-produced greetings. In Italy, Saint Valentine’s keys are given to lovers “as a romantic symbol and an invitation to unlock the giver’s heart”, as well as to children to ward off epilepsy (called Saint Valentine’s Malady).

In as much as this was the actual true story behind the Valentines Day, there had been many speculations about the 14th day of February as being a day set aside for the worship and purification rites to a Fertility and Sex Goddess which February was named after.

Although that may be true about the date, however, it might not entirely be the main reason to why that day was set aside for lovers, as you know, fertility goddess may have its influence due to the aspect of sex, meanwhile, the purpose and reasons which inspired the Valentines day celebration had nothing to do with sex, for couples who made love on that day only did it out of intense feelings, nevertheless, todays valentines day seems to be channeled towards sex, sex, sex, and bills, bills, bills, which begs for the question whether perhaps, in this modern day, perhaps the actual purpose of Valentines day celebration may have been secretly rerouted from the original reasons behind it (as explained on the first and second paragraph), to the dedication of sexual energies to the Goddess of Sex and Fertility?

Here is another possible origin of valentine’s day:

Possible ancient origins (WikiPedia)

In accordance with Wikipedia; in Ancient Rome, Lupercalia was observed February 13–15 on behalf of Pan and Juno, pagan gods of love, marriage and fertility. It was a rite connected to purification and health, and had only slight connection to fertility (as a part of health) and none to love. The celebration of Saint Valentine is not known to have had any romantic connotations until Chaucer‘s poetry about “Valentine’s Day” in the 14th century, some seven hundred years after celebration of Lupercalia is believed to have ceased.

Lupercalia was a festival local to the city of Rome. The more general Festival of Juno Februa, meaning “Juno the purifier” or “the chaste Juno”, was celebrated on February 13–14. Although the Pope Gelasius I (492–496) article in the Catholic Encyclopedia says that he abolished Lupercalia, theologian and Methodist minister Bruce Forbes wrote that “no evidence” has been demonstrated to link Saint Valentine’s Day and the rites of the ancient Roman purification festival of Lupercalia, despite claims by many authors to the contrary.

WHAT’S THE DEAL?

Someone might say, how then was Valentine connected with lovers day celebrations all over the world? I mean he was killed because he insisted that the soldiers be given the right to also fall in love and get married like everybody else, in fact he over saw the marriage between the soldiers who were forbidden to get married and he was killed for it, so yes he fought and died for love, yet it wasnt still connected with romance or lovers day until a poet named Chaucer came along with his poem titled: The Parliament of Fowls (1382) by Geoffrey Chaucer, . It was the first recorded association of Valentine’s Day with romantic love, it was portraying a parliament for birds to choose their mates. Honouring the first anniversary of the engagement of fifteen-year-old King Richard II of England to fifteen-year-old Anne of Bohemia, Chaucer wrote (in Middle English):

Chaucer’s Parliament of Fowls

Original, as written by Chaucer in the old Middle English:

“For this was on seynt Valentynes day
Whan every foul cometh there to chese his make
Of every kynde that men thynke may
And that so huge a noyse gan they make
That erthe, and eyr, and tre, and every lake
So ful was, that unethe was there space
For me to stonde, so ful was al the place.”

In modern English:

“For this was on Saint Valentine’s Day
When every bird comes there to choose his match
Of every kind that men may think of
And that so huge a noise they began to make
That earth and air and tree and every lake
Was so full, that not easily was there space
For me to stand so full was all the place.”

Geoffrey Chaucer by Thomas Hoccleve (1412)

Now with these research information presented to you, what do you think about the Valentines Day? Do you think it should be abused as many Nigerians today does, most especially the young ones, for instance, young ladies use the Valentine Day to Bill men, while men use this day to have sex with whomever they have been wishing for, or even to some random hooker.

Truth be told, if truly Valentines day is a day of love, what we have today is no longer a celebration of love in anyway. It is now a day of Bills, Drugs and Sex!

Reno wrote about this too on his facebook page, I think he has same thoughts as I do, he wrote and I quote:

If you have never travelled out of Nigeria, you will assume, wrongly, that Valentine’s Day is a day when men give gifts to women. Actually, Valentine’s Day is a day when lovers and friends share the sacrificial love of Saint Valentine by exchanging gifts. But trust Southern Nigerians to commercialise it.

In the same way, we have commercialised weddings. In Europe, from where we copied White Weddings, it is the bride’s family that pays for the wedding. Please fact-check me. But in Southern Nigeria, it is the bride’s family that makes the most unreasonable and outrageous demands. They demand things that they themselves can never afford if you give them five years to prepare. And then expects the intending groom to foot the bill. And if you are foolish enough to marry their daughter, the billing continues. You will pay for your in-law’s school fees, funerals, birthdays, etc, or the irresponsible in-laws would themselves brand you irresponsible. Industrial Money Obtainers. Read between the lines.

The billing is too much! Nigerian women, stop using your texts, WhatsApp messages and calls to only bill, demand, and request. Stand out from the crowd. Ask him, ‘How was your night?’ ‘I hope you are eating well. Would you like me to send you some recipes?’ Or, ‘Happy Valentine’s Day. Manage this call credit’. Not every time, billing, billing, billing, as if your name is Billy Billerman from Billingham!

A typical man born in Nigeria will never experience real love, apart from the love of his mother, until he dies. What is available to him is heavily monetised fake love. Or do you want to say I am lying?

The question to whether or not Reno was saying the truth lies on the proofs we see everyday arround us, the truth that surrounds us daily, most persons are unaware of the actual purpose of a valentines day, yet whenever the time approaches, they force themselves into milking off their partners bank accounts. If we must grow to become a better nation, I guess the change must begin with us.

Do you know that Valentines Day doesn’t just start and end on the 14th of February? I guess you haven’t heard of the 7 days after Val known as the Anti-Valentine’s week; Let me walk you through…

Anti-Valentine’s Week 2024:

Anti-Valentine’s Week 2024:

Since February is commonly known as the month of love. It is customary for couples to begin celebrating Valentine’s Day a week before the 14th day which we all know as Valentine’s Day. The seven days before Valentine’s Day are dedicated to commemorating the feeling of being in love. It is known as Valentine’s Week.

The onslaught of couples flooding the streets, restaurants and social media with a full display of affection for each other often makes it annoying for singles or those who just pushed out of a relationship. Therefore, just after Valentine’s Day, another 7 days was created for those who don’t like the seven days of love, for those who are single, and it is known as the Anti-Valentine’s Week; it is a week to detoxify yourself of all the excess doses of love you had.

Anti-Valentine’s Week begins 24 hours after Valentine’s Day (February 15). It consists of seven days – Slap Day on February 15, Kick Day on February 16, Perfume Day on February 17, Flirt Day on February 18, Confession Day on February 19, Missing Day on February 20, and Breakup Day on February 21.

While Valentine’s Week is all about love, Anti-Valentine’s Week has nothing to do with that at all. People who are single or out of a relationship celebrate the seven days of Anti-Valentine’s Week. Each day holds a special significance, and we have all the information you need to know.

Slap Day – February 15

Slap Day is the first day of Anti-Valentine’s Week, it falls on February 15, and it is dedicated to people who want to slap their ex’s who cheated on them, made them feel inferior or caused them mental distress. However, this is only symbolic, it doesn’t in any way mean that you really need to slap anyone. You can get rid of your frustration by removing all the pictures, cloths, etc which serves as a reminder to the love you both once shared. You should also slap all the residual feelings away from your life and move forward in life.

Kick Day – February 16

Kick Day is the second day of Anti-Valentine’s Week. It falls on February 16. Now, just like Slap Day, Kick Day does not mean you should physically kick your ex. However, you should definitely kick their memories and the negativity they spread from your life. Also, kick away all the gifts or memories you have from them.

Perfume Day – February 17

Perfume Day falls after Kick Day. It is the third day of Anti-Valentine’s Week. It falls on February 17. While Kick Day and Slap Day are about removing all the negativity your ex added to your life, Perfume Day is about focusing on yourself. This day is about self-love, it is about you making yourself happy. On such a day you take yourself out, get that perfume you have been craving for a long time, and enjoy the feelings of self-love.

Flirt Day – February 18

Flirt Day is the fourth day of Anti-Valentine’s Week. It falls on February 18. This day was created for all the singles, to encourage them into forgetting their anxieties and worries in order to take all the chances life presents to them by approaching their long-time crush, to hold the bull by the horns and convey their feelings to someone they like. After all, life is all about new experiences, and opportunities.

Confession Day – February 19

Confession Day is the fifth day of Anti-Valentine’s Week. It falls on February 19. Similar to February 18, this day gives you the opportunity to confess your romantic feelings to someone you like. On the other hand, If you have hurt someone you loved in the past, on this day you confess to them, and then apologize.

Missing Day – February 20

Missing Day is the sixth day of Anti-Valentine’s Week. It falls on February 20. It is always a good day to tell someone you love that you miss them.

Breakup Day – February 21

Breakup Day is the last day of Anti-Valentine’s Week. It falls on February 21. If you are tired of being in a toxic relationship or with someone you no longer feel the spark of love with, then “Breakup Day” is an opportunity given to you to use in setting yourself free from them, and them from you.

Okay, we have come to the end of this article, I am sure you have learnt a few things today, and I hope to meet you again in our next articles.

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